Dear “Late Bloomer”

Were you aware that there is a specific timeline that dictates when you’re supposed to come out? Actually, there’s not. You are not late, behind, or delayed. It’s hard, though, right? In the incarnation of yourself that you left behind you had what you thought was security (maybe even a marriage). But you felt compelled to be true to yourself and could no longer stomach the discomfort of knowing that where you are is not quite where you belong. And yet…it’s hard to connect. You may feel like an impostor at times because you’re new to the queer community and don’t quite know the rules of how to interact, how to be. There were guidelines before and landmarks: going to prom, graduating high school, your first sexual encounter that felt off. Doesn’t everyone go through these awkward rites of passage?  

You took a brave step and sometimes you wonder if it was all worth it. You feel naked and like you’re starting over in life. How will you ever feel comfortable in this skin that is familiar yet seems completely new? You don’t know what relationships are supposed to look like now, although you have a vague sense of what you want them to feel like. Do you wonder if you’ll be looked down upon because of who you have had sex with in the past? There is a new language of sorts to understand and incorporate into your vernacular. Do you even know how to flirt? Sometimes when you find someone attractive you freeze because you realize that this is not the fantasy you’ve harbored all these years and that it may turn out differently than you had imagined.

I’m here to cheer you on as you figure out what clothing feels most authentic to you; as you find a peer group that is embracing, supportive, and familial. You are being immersed in a new culture in which you feel like an exile of sorts. I have been through this emerging myself and understand the trepidation and exhilaration of self-discovery as well as the excitement of meeting new people or one special person that feels like home. I am here to help you explore yourself, your gender and/or your sexuality. It would be such an honor to witness your blooming.

I’m here to support you. Reach out today.